she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Found the puke drawer
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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