is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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