I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize