so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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