Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
