So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I will be naked everywhere
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
