yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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