Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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