It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize