this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
