You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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