i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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