i may or may not be watching the land before time
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
