The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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