I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
