so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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