I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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