is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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