The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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