Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize