I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
