Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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