Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
