i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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