i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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