I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize