It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Panties = found
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
