ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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