Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
