You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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