He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
