i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
