Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
