No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize