Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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