The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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