I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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