now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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