dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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