Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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