Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
