you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
