oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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