I murdered the dance floor call the cops
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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