So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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