Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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