soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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