Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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