Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
