So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I need to stop coming to work sober
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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