The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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