White coat. Heels.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Found the puke drawer
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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