if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
