Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
