So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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