All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
