Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
