we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
