She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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