Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
