Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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