Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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