my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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