what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
