Please, let me fuck your mom
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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