I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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