Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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