yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
