dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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