We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize