Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
