so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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