Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
