all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
