There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
