Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
