my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Text me some of your sweat
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