just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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