Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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