I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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