"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize